I'm Just Saying! (My Immediate Family)

THIS SEGMENT IS STRICTLY ABOUT MY FAMILY.  IMMEDIATE FAMILY.  THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN VENT IN MY OWN WORDS WITHOUT ANYONE TWISTING THEM.  Truth be told, I am sure you have some issues similar or worse than mine.  I'M JUST SAYING!

It never amazes how jacked up my immediate family is.  I was on the phone with my sister this morning when she made a comment about her son "not being about drama" and how "he doesn't fool with a lot people."  She stated that he is like me and I agreed.  She proceeded to say how he will be around the family for family functions.  I replied that he is grown and will do what is best for him.  She said as long as he lives with her, he will.  I agree and could understand but then I asked her why wasn't that in effect when I had family dinners and she allowed him to not come.  She replied, "I am talking about the whole family.  You know what I mean," she said and I replied "No, but I got you!"  She got upset and got off the phone.  I took that as I am not important enough to have my nephew at my house for dinner but everyone else in the family is.  I won't tip toe around her or anyone for that matter.  I know she talks about me when I am not around and then say something else when I am around.  I have known that about my sister from day one.  She is who she is!  She never sees her faults yet she is so quick to point out everyone else.  She has to be right and she has to be the center of attention.  To each its own!  She really hate the fact that I am not close to the family.  Well I guess I could if I never had to be the end of every joke or put up against you as the one who isn't prettier, or cute, or doesn't speak her mind.  Let's be honest we aren't little girls anymore.  I am grown beautiful, smart, and very outspoken woman who take no prisoners.  Thanks for the years of being in your shadow because my light shines brighter than a plastic surgeons teeth whitener patient.  I'm Just Saying!

My mother and I don't have a relationship, never have and never will.  I am great with that.  There use to be a time when I longed to have that with her but she has made that clear that my sister and younger brother are her only children.  They are her favorite and she has always made sure my older brother and I knew that.  So its no brain teaser to know that my son who is living with her that our relationship is estranged.  Partly because of his stank attitude and the drama he keeps around him.  My mother told my sister as long as I have not apologized to her for our relationship, nothing with my son will be right.  SHE MUST BE CRAZY!  I won't put her on blast about her lack of mothering but I will say check yourself and come clean to your children about your lack of and what you subjected us to before feelings get hurt.  I'm Just Saying!

My younger brother is just lost.  He has been so shielded that he don't know the truth if it slapped him across the face.  He don't even deserve a paragraph so lets move on....I'm Just Saying!

As for me, I am just trying to live my life without always hearing how much I love those DeVaughn's.  I do love them!  They love me as their own.  I love my blood family but I am sick of the differences.  I don't owe  anyone any apologies.  I will never be jealous of anyone in this family.  I am surely capable of  loving each and everyone as you are.  However, I will not settle for seconds. I will not live in the shadow of my sister.  I am not two faced and never will be and I am surely speaking what's on my mind and heart.  Stop putting me in a category you built for me because God has moved me else where and say so other wise.  If you can't handle that then keep it moving.  I don't come around because I sick and tired of lies and two faced people in this family.  I am not going to fight over you, about you and with you.....it is just not worth it.  As a child I have always said we are dysfunctional and it was so the truth!  Mother if my sister and baby brother is your favorite GOOD for you and them but don't talk crazy about me for loving a family that loves me for me.  Get over it!  I'm Just saying!

I surround myself with positive things and positive people.  God has bless me tremendously with a man, 2 children who loves me unconditionally a family who loves me in spite of  my wrongs and rights so why in God's name would I surround myself with hate and envy?  

To my youngest son, YOU ARE YOUNG and I get that.  I need you to find your way and get away from the spot you are stuck in.  I love you deeply.  ALWAYS WILL!  I am not my mother!  I am disappointed and hurt but this too shall pass.  Right now we (your parents) have to let you go because it is what's best for us and you!  Just know we are still praying that you get it together.

As for my family in general, LOVE YOU DEARLY!  If you listen or fall for the lies or what you think you know about me.  Check yourself!  Most of you don't even know me.  Most of you have always listened to what picture my mother or sister has painted me.  Until you get to know me for the woman I AM, you will always miss out on the magnanimous heart I have!  That would be your lost and someone else gain! The very thing you throw away might just be a diamond in the ruff.   I'm Just Saying! 

I'm Just Saying Disclaimer:  This is the opinion of the writer.  The topics are not designed to hurt, bring pain but to deliver another way of thinking that is designed to help build a person up.  Keep in my mind that I write what I feel and the experience from my culture!  If you find that my writings offend you, this isn't the blog for you.  Keep it moving!  I'm Just Saying!  

And that's,