I'm Just Saying! Ten worst gifts to buy a woman

Ten worst gifts to buy a woman

1. Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make "housework" easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on TV that does everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a infomercial. One allowed choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day.)

2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, "honey, I got you that large box of Tide you have been wanting." "This Windex should last you a while." "I got a good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner." All I can say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at least stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate gift, you would have had the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you were eying in Kmart.

3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of Ginsu knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when you come home with lipstick on your collar after a "night out with the boys."

4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. "Honey, I'm sure you'll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you." By then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won't be around for NEXT Christmas.

5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the beautiful woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other girlfriend).

6. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.

7. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that fabulous diamond to her friends and tries to cut glass with it. (We actually test them you know.)

8. Please do not buy her clothes because you think for one minute you have good taste in woman's clothing. Well, perhaps you might if you are a transvestite, but all in all, believe me, she'll smile and say its beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under her breath, "were the *#&$ would I ever wear this outfit without being arrested for bad taste?" An additional hint, plaids do not go with stripes (even though you think your golfing outfit looks just fine). Its a known fact to the rest of the world that that is a taboo. In the Northeast, that's like wearing white after Labor Day.

9. Do not give her a gift certificate to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. Most men would know better, especially the ones who have learned the correct response to "do these pants make me look fat." If you are one of the poor souls who still doesn't get it and purchased a gift like this, be prepared for the silent treatment for a month. (Although that may be something you would actually look forward to.) A better alternative would be hiring a Chippendale dancer as a personal trainer to get her motivated into getting fit.

10. Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle cream, or a book on "How not to be Nasty Sunday through Saturday." These are not considered gifts, they are considered reasons for seriously injuring the person who bought it and just may stand up in court of law.

Sincerely,

Being Alone - Devotional

Many of us are alone.  In our thoughts, in our homes, in our marriages and even in our very own families.  Some call it being "isolated" or even being "anti social."  I call it being smart especially when you're dealing with drama type people.  

Now before I go any further let's think about this:

Noah built the ark and voyaged alone. His neighbors laughed at his strangeness and perished in style.
Abraham wandered and worshiped alone. 

Sodomites smiled at the simple shepherd, followed the fashion, and fed the flames.
Daniel dined and prayed alone.
Elijah sacrificed and witnessed alone.
Jeremiah prophesied and wept alone.
Jesus loved and died alone."

Why did their faith require them to go it alone?  Because the general rule of most people in this world is that they'd rather not.  Most folks would rather not stand alone.  In fact, they'd just as soon "leave well enough...alone".  They'd rather not rock the boat.  They'd rather not be seen as judgmental.  They'd rather just "live and let live."   But belonging to Christ sometimes requires us to go against the grain.  It sometimes calls us to call sin, sin.  It sometimes requires us to stand up for God's truth even when others tell us to sit down and shut up.

I don't think being alone today is traumatizing as our mind wants us to believe.  If these bible people can be alone and still have the peace of God, I say, "sign me up."  They may have wept or even died alone, but the truth is they are more alive and surrounded by God and His heavenly angels.  They are with Him, God, which is where I want to be eventually.   Whatever I may endure on earth will not far cedes the final outcome.  I know that I am really never alone.  God says, "I will never LEAVE you nor forsaken you."  So why would I say I am alone when I have my very own guardian?  We say we are alone because we don't know Christ for ourselves.  We expect people, places and things to validate us.  Have you ever vacationed alone?  What about on a date with yourself, alone?  

My husband and I got together when I was 20 years old and I never wanted to be alone.  I learned that in order for others to deal with me, I should be able to deal with myself.....alone!  What better way to get to know yourself?  I had to be divorced from my husband, only to be reunited again in marriage, just so I can learn how to properly love and know me.  It sound crazy huh?  I learned how to spend quality time with me which taught me my self worth.  What I allowed others to do to me then seems like decades ago.  I wish someone would try to take advantage of my worth today.....I'm just saying!  Its war baby!  lol  God didn't make no junk or no punk.  ;-)

Its all about you!  We take for granted each other.  If we didn't marriages wouldn't break up, families wouldn't argue and people would have the same people as their friends.  Yeah God said that its not good for man to be alone and that he will make him a help mate.  However I don't think he meant we can be alone to improve our self worth.  Being alone means that we should be able to be alone with God.  We should talk to Him, lean on Him, listening to His still small voice while waiting on His direction for your life.  Being alone  means to have much peace and keeping all the everyday hustle and bustle of drama out of your mind.  People take for granted the thought of being alone.  They think you must share your bed with someone, your every available time with their spouse, kids, work or even friends.   Stop smothering them and smothering God for once.  Give it a try!  I promise you will love His attention.  Isn't it funny how people want the comforts of people in their life only to want their "space"?  Bottom line we want what we want when we want it.  If we feel like being bothered, so be it but if we want to be alone we are in our zone.  

Being alone isn't a bad thing if you are using the alone time for good.  Such as getting closer to God or taking time to improve your mental or physical being.  The next time you are alone, think of God checking in on all the people, animals, plants (people, place and things) that are worshiping Him even as we speak.  Ask yourself, is God alone?  If you say yes, then keep Him company.  If you say no, he has the whole universe and that he doesn't need you.  You may be right!  However, chances are you need him!  Proverbs 18:1 "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."  In other words, If we would get knowledge and grace, we must try all methods of improving ourselves.

Being alone can be good when used for good.  Being alone can be depressing along with a long list of things when we fail to know Christ.  When we don't know him and are alone temptations are harder to resist. If all the people mentioned earlier can be alone, why do we think we can't be alone with God?  Matthew 4:4 states, "But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” The reason why Jesus said this was because he was fasting for 40 days and was being tempted by the devil.  Jesus was in wilderness not to sight see, and not to eat but to spend time ALONE with God.

Why do we depend so much on others for our joy and happiness?  Something to think about as we are preparing for the season of giving.  Instead of giving out gifts, give the best gift of all by spending some alone time with God!  Talk to Him and let Him use you.  Let Him create in you a right mind and a right spirit!

Sincerely, 

To purchase the black art pictures please visit http://www.blackartdepot.com (click on "The black art Jesus collection.")

I Love You (Poem)

No matter how many times you turn back on me, I Love You!
No matter how many times you allow the enemy to use you, abuse you, mistreat you and others in your surrounding. 

I Love You.
Every time you turn your nose up to the person I send to meet you at your path of crossing, I Love You.
When you refuse to attend services at my house and even at your own, I still Love You.
For every curse word,
For every evil thing you have done to someone,
The lies you have told,
The hearts you have broken,
The gossiping and rumors you have spread,
The disrespect you have shown to your elders, to your parents and even to yourself.
My leaders who are put in place to teach & reach while you turned a deaf ear to them.
Even when you refuse to believe that my son is the only reason why I haven't taken you out yet, Understand its because I Love You!
Every time you do the very things that hurts me, I bow my head with great sadness because I Love You that much.  My love allows you to make your OWN decision of where you want to live eternally.

I guess you won't be coming with me after all.

-God

Sincerely,

What About Me? (Poem)

There is not a day and time

when my mind is committing a crime

of my thoughts causing me to sin

I'm fighting temptations.....JESUS help me win!

The enemy is on my back

trying to knock me off track

Heaven help us

from Iraq to Los Angeles

Each day that pass is dangerous

Even tho our currency say, "In God we Trust"

But do we really believe in your word

Especially when we gossip about the things we heard

My grandma use to sing, "God has smiled on me"

No matter what arise she had faith of a mustard seed

Man oh man, why can't we trust like that

Why can't we stay on track

Why do we lose every single time

Why must I lose my mind

Create in me a clean heart

I need to make a fresh start

Renew in me a right spirit

Speak to me Father, let me hear it

Just whisper a word in my ear

Let me know you are near

For I can not fight this alone

Forgive me of the sins that I've sown

Lord, think of me

Extend your hand so I can take thee

Please God don't leave me be

I am crying to you.....what about me?

2011

Sincerely, 

 

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I'm Blessed (Poem)

Last night was another rough night for me.  Instead of gripping and complaining I got into my Bible for comfort.  I thought about all the many blessings God has bestowed upon my life the last two decades.  I was quickly overwhelmed because I should have been dead a long time ago.  Illness, stupidity, anger, bad attitude and all the things we learn and do growing up could have ended my life.  I am honored that God saw and seen something in me that was worth saving.  Each day that we live our lives, we should reflect back to how far we've come.  I know I did last night and all I can say is THANK YOU FATHER FOR BLESSING ME!!!

I'm Blessed

I have a lot to be thankful for you know

I have my legs to get up and go

My feet for me to be planted 

my Word to let me know I am granted

the privileges to love and all

My hands to clap or to even catch myself when I fall

I have eyes to see beauty in folks

emotions to cry and smile or even to laugh at a joke

I have kids to get on my nerves

I have a husband who I cook for and love to serve

I have a bucket vehicle to drive from point A to point B

I have a soul that looks back in the mirror at me

no matter what mirror I am looking at

I can see an image of angels because its God who has my back

I am blessed to see each day that I rise

I am even blessed to feel my heart when it cries

I am rich in spirit and in truth when God is first

Heart of gold, love for others all traits I've had since birth

I am blessed to have wisdom and the ability to learn

I am eager to read my Bible because its food for which my soul yearn

I am blessed to work even while I am ill

For I know its not by my might but its in God's will

I am blessed to put a smile on others face

Even blessed to worship Christ in any place

I am blessed and surrounded by many who love me

So blessed that they come to my place and pray over me

God removes those who find no favor in you

So I'm blessed because God's love is wonderfully true

So no matter how many aches and pain my body stress

Through it all I am so honored just to blessed!

Sincerely,

 

Blessed and Highly Favored Print - 

My Favorite Art Piece. 

All poem on www.forealdoh.com are not to be altered or copied without permission.  All writings and poetry are copyrighted, unless otherwise noted.

In The Midst of it All (Poem)

We all fall short of his glory.  No one is free from sin unless they first come through Jesus Christ.  The Bible is our guide in life.  The people in the bible reminds us what not to do and the results from those sinful actions.  

I was up late again from a restless night and so I want to share my thoughts.  I found myself repenting to God for losing faith in my current situation.  I am open book.  I am not a person who believes I have to be right all the time or have to be strong every second of the day.  I am human.  I am in a war and forgot to equip myself for the battle. I am loved. I am also hated but who cares?  ;-) 

Most importantly, I am a solider for Christ!  I will survive and when my battle is won, my promotion in Christ will be revealed!!!!  God bless you and again thank you for your prayers.

In the Midst of it All

Job was tested 

Eve was sinfully nested

Noah was creative

Tamar was devastated

David killed

God wasn't thrill

with NO One

except for His Son.

The world is God's creation

Bathsheba gave in to temptation

It was Jesus, Judas betrayed 

Joseph was a slave

Herod the Great killed the babies

Peter denies Jesus, isn't that crazy?

Ah..... lets see....people kill,

they steal

sell their body for sex

now we legalizing gay marriage

what's next?

Will we ever see the demise

or hear the voices of heaven cries

every time a soul sins

and person give in

without even thinking of a master plan

or putting it in God's hand

Just as the bible characters

lived their lives in sin

understand they felt Gods raft

so YOU CAN'T WIN!

read the Word and open your mind 

picturing a moment back in time

When believers really prayed

worshiped God without being

talked into staying

Repent and turn away from your sin

Repent and let His spirit live within

No matter how far you had to fall

God is there in the midst of it all.

Sincerely, 

At the Crossroads....(Poem)

I'm bleeding and its a shame

that I am breathing and someone's playing me like a game

Yet the jokes on me

You see,

I wonder how far I was going to fall

when I allowed the enemy in my life

I'm the basketball 

on the court

bouncing into hole

the other team score 

while the other team won't work

Your ideal promises broke into my heart

had my mind all torn apart

I want to be angry with you

but I must be true

to the fact that it really is my fault

I was better off to steal from you and to get caught

then to have to face myself in the mirror

what a horror.

Not that I'm ugly or unattractive

but that my inner beauty

has nothing else to give

from such a cutie....pie

Man! my soul has seem to have died

I'm reminded of the energy that's of yours within me

that makes me feel so incomplete

Yes! I walked away

Yes! my heart is stained

Yes! I quit

only to rethink my actions to not commit

to you

to us

no matter how much I've tried

or cried

there's no trust

Did I hear God right

or did I hear "that is not right?"

Maybe I heard something

that was meant for nothing

Come on Punkin

get it together

it just had to get better

I thought you were the heart of David man!

I thought you would lead like Moses and provide me a hand

I thought you had faith like Abraham, boy was I wrong

Unlike Noah your attention to detail just didn't make the song

fit for this misfit

whose was trying to not quit

Can your selfishness get out your own path

why is 1+1 equals three, whats up with the math

the mind is a terrible thing to waste

so is the heart and love of a woman trace

My heart has failed me

My ears have become deaf

because I opened up and walked away

can I claim it theft?

Can I call 911

Can I have a talk with the Father and Son

How can this be

and why did this happen to me

I know I know

its my fault

it was my love for you

that had me caught

Up in the moment

now here I am with no feelings

my piggy bank is all spent

Wow!  Where is the sunshine that be

Where is me?

I am hanging here on this cross

bleeding, 

open,

naked

for the world to see my loss.......

Sincerely,

Too much thinking (Poem)

Ever been up days straight with nothing but time and thoughts?  I have a lot on my plate and its more than I can eat.  Can't seem to get all my thought out into words to release from mouth to ears.  So I write.  I write a lot.  So much that there are now 40 plus poems I have written in the last three days.  Some how I still don't feel better because I still have a lot more to say!  Make sense?  It does to me.  By the way, thanks for the prayers!  Might not appreciate it now but I will in the end. :-) 

Too Much Thinking.......

The ringing in my head won't stop

as I lay in pain watching the clock

I wonder if I am the only one up at this time

losing sleep as time fly on by

I think about those who I've let go from my life

especially to the one I committed to being his wife

I'm so tired of thinking

no longer speaking

that I have completely

let go cause I'm so weak

In my body there's no fight

Gosh....can I please get some sleep tonight!

No more pills

prayers or religious wills

I hurt bad

deeply angered and sad

no more speaking

gave in completely

looked at me

not liking what I see

no family of my own

no peace in my home

no medical to help the sick

no understanding to this

what I thought was my family

wrote blood is thicker than water to me

folks can't handle my honesty

I say shut the *#^ up and let me be

That is one thing I love about me

I won't stop no matter how much you hate on me

and you.......stop kissing me on my head

stay on your side of the bed

No one truly understands

the hurt, the anger at hand

my past is in my face

too painful to look at in any place

Dad you walked away

Mom you've hated me since I arrived in the place

My siblings you got your wish

I'm out the way you can have that ish

Not gone gang up on me

We will no longer speak

Ya'll are not my family

keep my name out yo mouth, let me be

to my external fam, I heard you loud and clear

I'm accepted as long as I be a dear

to not speak to your inner circle

So you bruise my heart with colors of red and purple

the blow is hard, I got it! I understand!

I married into it, the name don't flow inside my hand

If I want to be mistreated I'll stay with my own

fighting a battle like the day I was born

ugh!  a family of?........

what the heck was I thinking of!

I'm really sick of thinking

I will not be speaking

I chose who I deal with completely

Mind is strong body is weak

Sick of fighting

Gosh....I really want some sleep tonight!

Sincerely,

Kiss it away (Poem)

Think back to a time where you fell.

By accident or from someone who yelled.

Remember when daddy kissed your “boo boo”?

Or mommy came to pick you up and nurse you.

Perhaps you cried and got mad.

Fought the ground that made you mad or sad.

You look at yourself and see blood.

Grass, dirt & rocks all sorts of crud.

You get back on your feet in search of a band-aid.

To clean up the mess that your clumsy feet has made.

A day or two later you see a scar.

You may pick at it and again it gets raw.

You see it finally heals itself away.

Until it happens again someday.

This time you are in the habit.

To care for it, like opening a hole and pulling out a rabbit.

Only now the boo boo is much bigger than before.

Doctors tell you your’re sick and you go crying out the door.

People say they prayin for you.

Family just don’t know what to do.

Friends gossiping behind your back.

While your mind races 180 miles off track.

Cryin just don’t get it!

Healing isn’t clicking!

But time is steadily ticking!

Yet my mind is always tripping!

Why can’t my boo boo go away.

Not tomorrow but TODAY!

I don’t want to do any treatments!

Money is completely spent!

People just don’t get it!

Healing isn’t clicking!

My time is steadily ticking!

And yes my mind is really trippin!

My boo boo’s can’t be kissed away or tamed.

Not this time…

no scars to heal…

because there are lesions on my brain.

Sincerely,

 

Written by Forealdoh (Cheryl DeVaughn)

New neighbors

As a child I never knew what it meant to be healthy.  This is normal for me.  I have overcome so many obstacles in my path that I look back and smile while thanking God for the many opportunities he has bestowed upon my life.  I am in awe each day for His loving grace.

For the last few weeks, I have been fighting a battle.  My faith has been tested, my health is shaken and after that, I finally realized that I AM human.  Many of us who are believers of Christ forget that we are indeed born into a human state of mind and of a sinful world. 

As I left my doctors appointment, I thought about the bad news I received.  How I am now going to have to bear telling my husband and love ones yet another issue? Then I realized how God must feels when Jesus, His Son, witnessed time after time about serving Him and many who failed to receive the message.  The heart is heavy but the outcome is the choice that He gives to us to make.  That's where I am at this moment.  My heart is very heavy, my outcome is the choice I will make because it's the freedom God has given us.  Will I take more treatments?  Will I allow the doctors to start radiation on me and pump me with more medication?  It is all a choice.  Love, life, careers friends, family whatever crosses our path is a choice and an outcome.  (Now don't take what I am saying and getting all religious on me.  These are my thoughts as I had earlier after receiving some devastating news concerning me.)

So as my new neighbors take house in my body I hope its ready for the ride of its life.  While you're in my brain, make sure you tap into the Word of God that is stored in and between the brain cells.  See how my heart races everytime I sing of His praises.  Watch how my blood rushes throughout my body when the Holy Spirit moves within.  Be sure to pay attention to the healing affects that will take place in 5...4...3....2....1  NOW!  

When we choice wisely the outcome is so much greater than those who choose selfishly.  So as I lay upon the altar of God to lay my burdens, I choose to live!  Live in life and to live eternally.  

Whatever God's will is for me, so let it be.  I will enjoy every moment of my earthly life and I will rejoice to the very end.  My neighborhood is still good!!!

Sincerely,

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood" as Mr. Rogers use to say in the opening of his show.  I say it for an entirely different reason.  I live in an area where God lives.  He lives in my home, in my car, on my job, when I am out and about.  Where ever I go, I take God with me.  My neighborhood is filled with peace, joy, love, comfort and many more things that God provides.  When my days are short, He makes it long, when its cloudy, He brings out the sunshine.  Why?  It is not because I've done anything special or have been so good but because of His grace and mercy.  

I always wave to anyone walking or driving by in my neighborhood.  I think it is a way not only of saying "hello" but as a way of saying, "I see you."  There is one particular person who never speaks back to me.  It's alright.  I wave anyway and keep on moving.  I always replay the scripture, "If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right." (NIV James 2:8) and "Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." (Romans 13:10 NIV)  In other words, I will love others as God loves me and I will treat people how I would want to be treated no matter how rotten they may treat me.  I won't be no fool but I will love and pray for them and me.  I'm just saying.  

Many people living in a rough neighborhood & have a reason to not like anything about it.  Some choose to move to richer areas and lose so much more.  While some are content with the regular style of an traditional man made ideal of a neighborhood.  You know, the white picket fence, big yard with an two car garage.  A lot of people never get that dream and feel like they are living in hell.  Some people work in and feel like their neighbor is an coworker from satan himself but yet say they are a child of God.  How?  Remember...."love your neighbor as yourself"?  It is very easy to forget the Word of God when you are caught up in the details of everyday life.   Yes!  People will get on your nerves.  Yes!  You will be tested.  Yes!  You may have to repent.  Just don't give up and never let go of God's hand.

 

So as we begin another week, day or step into another hour, let us be reminded that the neighborhood you live in doesn't have to be your final home.  After all, your home (You) is what you make of it.

Sincerely,